"He has such a good heart but I am just not attracted to him."
You may have heard yourself say this or heard your friend say this once before. Or guys, maybe you have said this too. It happens. And it's actually ok.
There is a thing called "attraction" that was created by God. Sometimes we overlook the fact that attraction is natural AND it is good.
With attraction comes a responsibility to love that person outside of the attraction. It is easy to get swept up and romanticize relationships, I have done this many a time. How many times I have I thought, "Maybe if I just go for a walk in a field at the break of dawn amidst the foggy morning (and to my suprise but not really) I run into my future Mr. Darcy coming to profess his love for me!" Anyone else fall to pieces during this scene in Pride and Prejudice? But still, I am only thinking of myself and my want to be loved and desired. I am not necessarily thinking of the other person.
As we talked about in our Makeupless-Monday video (link to video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5r0i_p45AMo), "How Far is too Far?" is a question so many people want to know. When we are attracted to someone the physical affection comes naturally. Like we said in the video, this is GOOD.
If we are asking the question "How Far is Too Far?" then we are actually asking the wrong question. When I was in highschool, a teacher of mine once said that if we are asking this question then it is like the person asking is pushing the other closer and closer to the edge of a cliff to see how close to the edge they can get the other without pushing them over. Why would we want to do this to someone we love? Actually, why would we want to do that to anyone?
We should want the good for every relationship we have because honestly, if we are dating someone either they are our spouse or someone else's (unless they decide on another vocation). We need to stop seeing chastity as a list of rules and regulations but more as a desire for that person's good.
"Purity is not about following a list of rules so that you'll avoid hell. It's about wanting Heaven for the person you love."-Jason Evert
Practicing chastity is difficult. Sometimes we fall, but the important thing is to get back up and know that you are worth protecting, you are worth the sacrifice and so is the other.
Don't ever forget that no matter how far you've gone it's never too late to come back and no matter how much you've fallen and or continue to struggle, your identify as a gift will never be taken from you, man or woman.
You are meant for Heaven.