I first want to preface this blog with the fact that this is not a blog bashing men. Our Makeupless Monday video was not a video to lash out on men for being creepy, unsafe, or not worthy of a second date. Our video and this blog are merely tools to help women ( like ourselves) to be honest by not leading men on when we are not interested or tips for women in the unfortunate case when their saftey is compromised.
I will say, I have been on dates when I knew I was not interested in more, but I have never been on a date when I have felt my safety was in question or a date that I was not treated like a lady. Thanks be to God!
If you know you are not interested in another date....
Ladies, just be honest. For me, I would worry (sometimes still do!) of hurting the guy's feelings and then I would find myself agreeing to a second date or just being extremely vague of whether I was interested in a second date or not. This does NO ONE any good. The guy is left unsure or mislead and you are left anxious about the next date.
At the end of the date if he asks you for as second, you can always reply with the simple, "Thank you for your interest but I am not interested in anything more than friends." I promise, the guy is not going to crumble at your feet and cry in pain of your response! When you answer honestly you are both left with clarity...and who doesn't like clarity!?
Just be honest. He deserves that too.
If you feel the date is unsafe....
Have you ever seen an old black and white movie when the lady was at dinner with a man and he did something to upset her? You know what she did? She got up and left...THAT is what you should do.
Stand up for yourself.
If a man is being innapropriate with you, do not feel like you need to stay or that you owe him anything. You have all the right in the world to excuse yourself and leave. Do not let yourself feel bad for 1) excusing yourself and or 2) if he makes you feel like you are over reacting.
I have been in circumstances (not dates) when a guy had made advances and I refused. He told me I was overreacting and making it into a big deal...well sir, you are right, I am making it into a big deal because IT IS. Ladies, do not ever feel bad for standing your ground, even if it means saying adios to that guy. Too many of us have stayed quiet and believed these lies that "we are overreacting" or "making it into a big deal." You should always feel safe and never feel ashamed for having standards.
Don't ever be ashamed of your feelings.
In short--girls, be honest about your feelings in all circumstances, whether you are not interested in a second date or if you feel unsafe.
Men, thank you to those of you who treat women with respect and honor a woman's dignity. You are not unseen. We thank you for being real men! Trust me, gentlemen stand out.