From the time most of us are small, we've been told that there's a Santa Clause. Some of us have also been told that God is our Father and that He cares about every single detail of our lives. But at some point we find out that Santa isn't real and as we get older and life gets hard, we begin to believe that the idea of a God actually caring about the little things in our live seems to be as great a fable as Santa was.
Many of you who have heard me speak at events as part of His Own, have heard the ways my heart has been broken, the ways I have been stripped, the journey of my life and coming to know God as Father. Through this journey though, one prayer I have come to pray daily, sometimes multiple times a day, is: "Father, let me see Your fingerprints over every single detail of my life. Please take care of the details." In my head I've always known He loves me deeply and is intimately involved in the tiniest of details of my life. But this last week, and appropriately so close to Christmas, He showed me how much He is, has been and always will be involved in our lives. All of our lives!
When we began His Own, we knew it was something Jesus was asking us to start. As we prayed, practiced and put the work in, we didn't know whether it would take off or not, but we would always remind each other we were doing this because Jesus asked us to, we wouldn't say no to Him, and even if it was for one person, it would all be worth it.
As time went on, we realized there was some equipment we needed in order to truly put out quality material and to get it done in the most efficient way possible. So we sat down, made a list of various things we knew we needed and started praying, asking our Father to take care of it. A lot of the things we needed were not cheap either: like a computer that could do a lot with audio/visual, a video camera, a microphone and some other things. I was the one who really needed a computer as mine was so old and didn't work well. It was also getting difficult trying to synchronize our schedules for me to use Kara or Christine's computers to do editing, write blogs, or return emails.
It's a long story and I'm going to try to condense this as best I can (although the full version will work it's way into one of our talks I feel quite certain!). Basically, due to some unexpected car issues, I needed to take the money I had set aside to purchase a computer and put it towards a new car in the very new future (feel free to pray that the car stuff works out!). I had mentioned to a brilliant tech friend of mine, Todd, that I was needing a new computer and had asked him some technical questions about what to look for, knowing he would have the answer (which he did). He also went on the hunt for what I was looking for and was going to let me know if he came across anything.
When I realized getting a car was now more pressing than a computer, I reached out to him to let him know the computer search would need to be put on pause until some time after the car was taken care of. What happened next had me in tears.
Todd informed me that the Lord wanted him to get the computer for me. I was in shock to say the least. How do you receive something that's so big when you've done nothing to earn it? Humbled, touched, blown away, you just bow your head as tears spill out of your eyes and you simply receive. Even while writing this I have tears coming down my face. If many of you knew how incredibly painful the last several years have been, the things that have happened, the many tears cried, you would understand why this touched me so deeply.
This last week Todd drove through our town all the way from Oklahoma, en route to some other places, and dropped off not just a computer, but a video camera and some of the other things we had put on that list and asked the Father for. I wish I had time to go into how this whole story of the Lord asking him to get this for me actually went back years ago. This whole story rocked my world and touched me so deeply because it meant the Father had already been putting things in place for me, for Kara, for Christine, for His Own.
What spoke even deeper to my heart was: if God cared that much to put things in motion years ago in order for it to come to be at this point in my life, then it also meant He had things in place for other parts of my life. My vocation, my mission, my dreams and desires. It meant that He has already been planning, has already laid the groundwork, already pushed the domino that would push everything else to ultimately arrive at the right time, moment, with the right person... everything! He is intimately, deeply involved with me. He has been moving and doing things even when I felt like He didn't care, or He seemed so far away, or nothing seemed to be changing or getting better.
I share this because I want you to know: He cares like that for you also! Each and every single one of you! "But Maria, I don't have any cool story like yours to show He actually cares that much in my life." Maybe not yet, but maybe my faith was weaker than yours. Maybe He knew that this little girl named Maria Spears needed this for a million reasons. I just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is working in your life right now, even if you don't feel it, or think it. Even if it's so dark and painful. He's there. His plan is good and He has already set things in motion to bring about goodness in your life!
Christmas is this weekend and I realized how much this tied in with the birth of Jesus. God had set things in motion for Him to become man at the beginning of time. Every singe detail leading up to the birth of Christ was important. It mattered, it played a part. Every person, every situation, even the painful ones, the tough ones, the dark ones. God was in it, bringing about a good, a grace, something beautiful that ultimately showed itself in the Christ Child.
And even now, how do we receive this sweet gift of Baby Jesus? We, who don't deserve the precious gift of God becoming man? We get down on our knees, bow our heads and with humility, we receive Him.
I don't know what's going on in your individual lives right now, but I know what it's like to struggle, to hurt, to feel like the Father doesn't care. But if you take one thing away from this, let it be a spark of hope to remind you that in the midst of this crazy thing we call life, He loves you, He comes for you, He wants you. He has a good plan for you and your life, and He is intimately involved in Every. Single. Detail.
Have a blessed Christmas and know that we ladies of His Own are holding each of you close to our hearts and praying for you! Please pray for us too!